Katherine "Kissin' Kate" Barlow (
ikissdhimbck) wrote2013-10-14 07:42 pm
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OOM: don't let your daughters grow up to be cowgirls...
[Sometime after this...]
Sure, so there's nothing suggesting foul play about this strange place. But Kate still don't like it, and after the scouting mission she went on with her new friend, they found it was far more horrible than they could have imagined. A kitchen, truly vast, filled with so much food — and sweets. An icebox full of fruit and jams and jellies, cakes, pies, and ice cream. More food than a thousand people could eat in a thousand days! Natasha and Katherine knew what they had to do.
"Listen up!"
(They had their tea, weighed their options, and drew their maps and plans in detail. X's marked the places where the food and drinks were kept, question marks swirled over the Magical Bar, and dashes detailed an escape route out the back door toward the forest. Nobody would ever catch them, and there were more than enough other children to pull it off. They just had to convince them their mission was just.)
"The plan is simple. While the adults ain't looking, we clear out the cupboards. Nobody knows who's in charge here; ain't none of us have seen our mamas an' papas. Ain't you tired of not knowin' what's goin' on? Of havin' to ask? Of adults tellin' us no sweets 'cuz they'll rot our teeth? We just want our fair share, an' we want it for every one of us! Why do they get t'keep it all locked up?"
She nods to Natasha.
Sure, so there's nothing suggesting foul play about this strange place. But Kate still don't like it, and after the scouting mission she went on with her new friend, they found it was far more horrible than they could have imagined. A kitchen, truly vast, filled with so much food — and sweets. An icebox full of fruit and jams and jellies, cakes, pies, and ice cream. More food than a thousand people could eat in a thousand days! Natasha and Katherine knew what they had to do.
"Listen up!"
(They had their tea, weighed their options, and drew their maps and plans in detail. X's marked the places where the food and drinks were kept, question marks swirled over the Magical Bar, and dashes detailed an escape route out the back door toward the forest. Nobody would ever catch them, and there were more than enough other children to pull it off. They just had to convince them their mission was just.)
"The plan is simple. While the adults ain't looking, we clear out the cupboards. Nobody knows who's in charge here; ain't none of us have seen our mamas an' papas. Ain't you tired of not knowin' what's goin' on? Of havin' to ask? Of adults tellin' us no sweets 'cuz they'll rot our teeth? We just want our fair share, an' we want it for every one of us! Why do they get t'keep it all locked up?"
She nods to Natasha.
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How rude. How utterly, frustratingly childish. Kate tries to wrestle the ice cream back without popping any of the lids off the containers, frowning at Tommy in a way that will be very, very familiar to him in a few decades.
"Cut that out! This is a stickup!"
Oh look, she got to say the words after all.
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ridiculously hugechocolate bar she'd been nomming on.She gasps, dropping it. Oh no! She's fallen down on the job!
"BOY!!!" She shouts, pointing an index finger at Tommy, trying to alert the rest of the girls!
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"Jeez, what--?!"
With a tub of Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey clutched against his chest, he realizes this might not have been a good idea. His expression? Think Scooby-Doo in a ruh-oh! situation.
If he gets out of here alive, he's so telling.
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With one look around she spots a very long silver ladle and grabs it up, like one of her fathers too large wooden swords she should get away with playing with as often as she does, and strides toward him, coming from one side of Katherine and the boy struggling. The ladle out pointing somewhere between his chest and head, defiant about having anything jeopardize these new friends she's found.
"No one invited you!"
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"What're you doing?"
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She turns to the blond boy and announces, "You're our hostage now, we caught you fair and square!" while brandishing the bar towels.
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First there's a girl pointing a ladle at him (his mother makes good use of a wooden spoon on him from time to time, so a metal one would definitely hurt more), then there's another girl demanding to know what he's doing, and now another claiming him as their hostage?
Incredulous-- and maaaaaybe just a little bit panicked-- he looks 'round and 'round at the growing number of angry girls surrounding him.
Especially at the one girl who brought the towels to gag him. O_o
"Hey, listen, I didn't know nothin' about this, I just came in here by accident! You don't gotta take me hostage, I swear I won't tell!"
He starts backing up as he tries to talk his way out, but it's obviously too late for that sort of thing.
"Here, uh-- you can have the ice cream back?"
And he holds out the Chunky Monkey toward anyone who'll take it.
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Hmm.
"Oh, can I? Can I please have the ice cream that was mine t'begin with back?"
She glares at Tommy and snatches the ice cream from his hands, looking around for Natasha. Before they go so far as to gag him, she'd like to confer with her partner in crime. This is her very first stickup!
"They're right, you're our hostage now. We can't trust you t'keep your trap shut!"
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The small Russian girl gives Tommy a piercing look.
"You show willingness to undo your crimes," she says finally. "Buuuuut you've still committed a crime against this socialist liberation. And you can still tell on us. Spy," she adds.
"HOSTAGE, COMRADES!"
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And now here's this redheaded Russian girl who sounds like she's come straight out of a James Bond movie.
Socialist liberation? What the hell?
"Hey, now," he snaps at her, "I ain't no goddamn spy!"
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Natasha raises her eyebrows.
"That's just what a spy would say."
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"Yeah, prove it."
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"What-- how-- what d'you-- I--"
Words! How do they work?
"How the hell'm I s'posed to do that?!"
And thus, Thomas Michael Gavin has sealed his fate.
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"Just as we suspected. If y'can't prove it, then you're our hostage. The James-Younger band would never let a prisoner go. Get the gag ready, Jess!"
She nods to each of the girls, feeling just like the cock of the roost right now.
"Tie 'im up, ladies!"
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"Don't struggle and we won't string you up by your feet from our base."
Beat.
"Does anyone have a blindfold? He shouldn't be allowed to see how to get to headquarters."
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She totally noticed how the boy's eyes got bigger when he looked at her makeshift sword of a ladle.
She's totally willing to nudge at the air in front of him warningly, while waiting for the rest of the girls to do what they can with their free hands. Not that she has any real inclination about hitting him with it, but she doesn't mind holding herself all warningly like she could be someone who might consider it, might entirely be capable, some like one of her Father's Guards. Except better.
Because she's a girl. In a pack of girls where no one has once said she couldn't do something because she was.
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(That translates roughly to "Get the fuck offa me!" as said around a towel.)
The girls come at him from all sides, and even though he's bigger than most of them and tries to break through their ranks, they still have him outnumbered.
The girl with the spoon brandishes it at him and he momentarily pulls back, until that other girl mentions tying his hands.
"Mrphr frgh!"
("What the fuck!")
He struggles harder. He's not going down without a fight!
He just hopes nobody discovers his ticklish spots.
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"I toldja if you didn't watch that mouth'a yours you'd get a bar of soap for your trouble. A towel'll hafta do for now."
He's being awful fussy for some reason, and Kate doesn't want the girls holding onto him to get hurt. So she does the only sensible thing a leader can do. She leaps on him.
"Don't let 'im get away!"
Arms already covered, she goes for his middle, deft fingertips skittering over his ribs.
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"Kate, no! He might have cooties!"
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Also, cooties? Only girls have cooties, not boys! Tommy would correct the tiny wee child except his mouth is full of towel. And he's too busy giggling. Unamusedly.
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(She is, as ever, pragmatic).
For now?
Natasha claps her hands.
"Alright, my sisters! Everyone not capturing the spy, BACK TO LIBERATION."
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"Hold him still!"
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However, she steels herself.
"S'all right! I help hogtie the piglets on our ranch, all y'hafta do is sit on him!"
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