OOM: Room #100 - drinking aftermath (part 2)

[ikissdhimbck]

[following this:]


It's a long and restless night, both for the outlaw, and for the Russian astronaut.

Once or twice, Kate jarred Esfir from slumber by waking with a start and lunging for that trash can. Who knew a body that tiny could survive being sick so many times in one night?

Esfir finally decided to forsake her spot in the armchair after the last time Kate was sick, settling next to her in bed.

"Momma?" Kate had murmured, half asleep and disoriented.







"Go back to sleep, Katyushka."

It wasn't long after that when dawn broke.

.

Comments

[scurlock]

His fingertips twitch against her shoulders - a flinch, really - and he pulls his hands away, settling them on his thighs.

It hurts.

He won't say it (he doesn't have to) but it hurts, stings deep into a place in his heart that only she can reach - good or bad - and he can't help but feel it.

"My hands ain't burnt," he murmurs, as he resists the urge to lean his forehead against the back of her shoulder. He's wanted to hold her again for ten years and he can't even touch her.

[ikissdhimbck]

She crawls out of bed and begins to pace the room. She keeps one hand to her forehead -- face still flushed -- and the other at her side in case she stumbles.

"We didn't go wrong, Doc," she hisses. "I ended us. I ended it."

[scurlock]

"How do you figure?"

He watches her pace - silently wishing she would just sit down, if she won't sit next to him, even in a chair - and tries to read her body language.

[ikissdhimbck]

"I chose Sam!"

The outburst comes off a little harsher than she intended. For a long time she lets it hang between them, awkwardly trying to find better words to explain.

[scurlock]

He looks at her, thinking over those harsh words.

After some time of silence, he speaks.

"Kate, just because y'chose t'love Sam instead of me don't mean that I'm suddenly gonna turn tail and run," he says. "I know you might want me to, but that ain't...some dealbreaker or nothin'."

[ikissdhimbck]

"I don't want you lovin' me."

She'd rather be alone than dishonor Sam, or put him through the same...

She won't even let herself think about it.

"I wanted you t'find someone else. Out there. Always thought y'should. I ain't right."

[scurlock]

"I...I understand that. But it's not somethin' that I can just turn off, or forget."

He shakes his head.

"And findin' someone else...that would've felt wrong, to me."

[ikissdhimbck]

She barks a short, cynical laugh.

"But not hard."











She closes her eyes.

[scurlock]

"I don't think I follow."

[ikissdhimbck]

"Nothin'."

She shakes her head once, bracing herself against the chest of drawers when the sharp action makes her head swim again.

It was more than she intended to say, on an issue too near her heart, egged on by her hangover. He hasn't made her feel particularly special, or loved, despite his floundering efforts. Her insecurity makes her suspicious to his true intent.

(He left his wife; why not her, next?)

[scurlock]

He narrows his eyes when she has to balance herself on the furniture, shifting on the bed.

"Obviously it ain't nothin'," he says. "But why don't you come back'n lie down a bit more?"

[ikissdhimbck]

She continues around the side of the dresser, placing a hand on the draperies around one window.

"M'fine."

[scurlock]

"You don't look it," he replies, not giving up the fight quite so easily.

He pauses.

"But if y'say you're fine then I'm gonna trust your judgement, since it is your hangover and not mine. I just think you'd feel better if y'came and laid down again."

[ikissdhimbck]

She's stubborn, and he's always backed down before. So what if she's being petulant? Right now, it's more about winning the 'fight.'

She always does.

"Jus' can't wait t'git me back in bed, hm?" she mutters under her breath, putting most of her weight against the piece of furniture.

[scurlock]

Doc only catches a few words of her mutterings - but it's more than enough to sting.

He rises off the bed, and moves towards her.

"I have spent the last ten years without bein' with a woman," he says, voice on an even keel as he approaches. "And I won't deny that I find y'incredibly attractive, or deny that I want you. But right now, you need to go lie down 'fore you fall over, Kate."

He fixes her with a look that speaks volumes. Yes, he wants her. Yes, he finds her gorgeous. Yes, he's spent years dreaming about being with her in bed.

But right now? He's concerned about her welfare.

[ikissdhimbck]

For some reason, being under the force of his gaze affects her so much more than it does coming from anyone else.

(But it has nothing to do with love, of course.)

She shrinks away timidly, clutching her arms around her middle more snugly. Nodding almost imperceptibly, she steps around him and moves for the bed.

And doesn't say another word.

[scurlock]

He doesn't like having to be so stern with her at times like this, but he has to.

(And of course it has nothing to do with love.)

"Thank you."

He turns down a corner of the sheets for her (on 'her' side) and then moves back to the other.

"If havin' me sittin' there makes it hard for you to sleep, I got no problem with movin' to the chair."

[ikissdhimbck]

She pulls the blankets up to her chin, feeling suddenly cold and spent. Her knees curl slightly to her chest.

Not looking at him, she shakes her head.

It's obvious she's still very much upset, with both herself and him, but she doesn't want to tell him to leave.

[scurlock]

Doc settles carefully on the bed once more, resting against the pillows at the headboard and picking up his book.

"I ain't gonna go nowhere."




He stays quiet for awhile, until he thinks she's drifted off, glancing over at her back as he whispers.

"I spent ten years tryin' t'git back t'you, I ain't goin' nowhere."

[ikissdhimbck]

She isn't asleep.

But she doesn't say a single word.




Silently, she lets herself cry until she does, eventually, drop back off again.

[scurlock]

He only moves from the bed twice - once to refill her water glass, and the other time to answer the door to a waitrat who showed up bearing a light breakfast.

The food was placed on the small table, across the room, and the water on the bedside table.

And Doc remained sitting on the bed.



(Eventually, he abandoned the book for a small notepad and pen, working on a few lines that came to mind.




He might be murmuring them out loud, to make sure they sound right.)

[ikissdhimbck]

What she does sleep is fitful at best. Mostly, she just tosses and turns, kicks blankets off and paws them back on. She doesn't speak, or open her eyes, or make any indication of being alert -- not even when food arrives.

Not even when he starts murmuring.

She hates being this close to him, and this far away from him at the same time. Any other day, under any other circumstances, she would leave. But she has nowhere to go.

She dreams now and again, visions unpleasant in her mind's eye. Her face is still flushed, and her hair damp around her skin.

[scurlock]

He watches over her.

When she seems to be hot, he adjusts the blankets. The same goes with when she seems chilled. Or uncomfortable. He doesn't wake her from any bad dreams but he wishes that he could make them stop.

After awhile, he gathers a damp, cool cloth from the bathroom and settles back on the bed to gently wipe the sweat from her hairline.

[ikissdhimbck]

She jumps slightly when the cool cloth touches her skin, blinking up at the hand that is applying it.

[scurlock]

"Howdy."

He offers her a slight smile, moving the cloth away.

"You feelin' any better?"