Katherine "Kissin' Kate" Barlow (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ikissdhimbck) wrote2009-01-23 01:30 am
ikissdhimbck) wrote2009-01-23 01:30 am
II. Brace myself and let go...
[All that you can't leave behind...]
The next afternoon, after the children had gone on home, she sat at her desk listening to the pitter-patter of the rain on the roof. There were two books open on her desk in front of her.
One was that little brown journal Doc had given her. She had removed the Polaroid picture from its place in the back, but left the page open. Her focus was on neither. Her focus was on the brown eagle feather, twirling delicately between her fingertips.
She hadn’t seen Sam. Not at all, yesterday. Not at all, this morning. If he was out in his onion fields, it might be a few days yet before she’d be seeing him again. And that realization made her heart ache.
Her eyes ventured to the other book, spread open on her desk. It was one of her many volumes of Poe. She had been thumbing through the poems absently, to settle her mind, when she paused at one in particular.
Gaily bedight,
A gallant night
In sunshine and in shadow,
Had journeyed long,
Singing a song,
In search of El Dorado.
She thought of Doc. It was, after all, one of his favorite poems. She thought of the last time they spoke, her heart in the dirt and the guilt in his eyes.
She sighed, setting the feather aside gently.
She had told him she would be back; that she loved him. He told her that he loved her, too.
“Maybe she was right.”
Could I really expect to settle down with a man I met at the end of the universe?
That ain’t home. This is home. This is where you belong.
It ain’t normal.
The wind howled through the trees, like the echoing cry of a lone wolf, kicking rain against the beautiful glass windowpanes in her cozy little schoolhouse. She glanced outside, then back to her books.
But he grew old --
This knight so bold --
And -- o'er his heart a shadow
Fell as he found
No spot of ground
That looked like El Dorado.
He doesn't trust me.
Her desk didn’t wobble. Her front doors didn’t squeak, or hang crooked. Her windows didn’t jam. No water leaked into the classroom, except for the few drops that came from her eyes. They blurred the page underneath her fingertips.
"Over the Mountains
Of the Moon,
Down the Valley of the Shadow,
Ride, boldly ride,"
The shade replied --
"If you seek for El Dorado."
“Onions! Hot, sweet onions!”
She gasped, and lifted her face toward the closed front doors of the schoolhouse, where his familiar, silky voice could be heard calling out from the street beyond. Before she even realized it, she was up and running.
He stood there with Mary Lou, a rain slicker over his broad shoulders and that brown leather hat atop his head, catching the rain against the brim as it came down. She wore nothing but the sky blue blouse and burgundy skirts she had put on this morning, and though the rain wasn’t particularly hard, it wouldn’t take long before she was soaked through.
She didn’t care.
She kept running, wanting to throw her arms around him and tell him how much she had missed him. But she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Instead, she hugged Mary Lou’s neck.
“Is something wrong?” he asked her with worry, placing a gentle hand against her back, between her shoulder blades.
If he only knew.
“Oh, Sam,” she said. “My heart is breaking!”
“I can fix that.”
She turned to him, breath catching and sticking in her throat. His deep, ebony eyes were focused on her, warm and caring, and as he took hold of both of her hands, he leaned in, and kissed her.
It was a gentle kiss, sweet and innocent, and it made her heart skip a beat. She thought of a great number of things: of the taste and the feel and the surprise wound tight in her chest; of the propriety of the action; and of what the town would think.
But she didn’t think of Doc.
She fell into his arms, and she kissed him back.
This is home.
This is where I’m supposed to be.
Because of the rain, there was nobody else out on the street. Even if there was, Katherine and Sam wouldn’t have noticed. They were lost in their own world.
At that moment, however, Hattie Parker stepped out of the general store. They didn’t see her, but she saw them. She pointed her quivering finger in their direction, and whispered in her brittle voice:
“God will punish you!”
.
The next afternoon, after the children had gone on home, she sat at her desk listening to the pitter-patter of the rain on the roof. There were two books open on her desk in front of her.
One was that little brown journal Doc had given her. She had removed the Polaroid picture from its place in the back, but left the page open. Her focus was on neither. Her focus was on the brown eagle feather, twirling delicately between her fingertips.
She hadn’t seen Sam. Not at all, yesterday. Not at all, this morning. If he was out in his onion fields, it might be a few days yet before she’d be seeing him again. And that realization made her heart ache.
Her eyes ventured to the other book, spread open on her desk. It was one of her many volumes of Poe. She had been thumbing through the poems absently, to settle her mind, when she paused at one in particular.
A gallant night
In sunshine and in shadow,
Had journeyed long,
Singing a song,
In search of El Dorado.
She thought of Doc. It was, after all, one of his favorite poems. She thought of the last time they spoke, her heart in the dirt and the guilt in his eyes.
‘It was never that I didn't trust you, Kate.’
She sighed, setting the feather aside gently.
She had told him she would be back; that she loved him. He told her that he loved her, too.
'There's more than one kinda love. Maybe for you two, it ain't necessarily meant to be the romantic kind.'
'There's a fellow, back in Green Lake. We're--We're only friends. But I care about him.'
'Care as in, it could be more than friends?'
'Care, as in, I haven't been able to get him off my mind since I've been
here. I just keep thinking about when I'll get to see him again.'
'Kate I want you to be happy and I can't fault you for whatever
that means. I won't. And if...there's someone else you'd rather be with...I just want you to be happy.'
'He said he loved me. But he was married. This whole time.'
‘That doesn't make the love not true just not his to give.’
“Maybe she was right.”
Could I really expect to settle down with a man I met at the end of the universe?
‘Don't suppose it being a magical bar helps much in that regard - makin' things seem normal, that is.’
That ain’t home. This is home. This is where you belong.
It ain’t normal.
The wind howled through the trees, like the echoing cry of a lone wolf, kicking rain against the beautiful glass windowpanes in her cozy little schoolhouse. She glanced outside, then back to her books.
This knight so bold --
And -- o'er his heart a shadow
Fell as he found
No spot of ground
That looked like El Dorado.
He doesn't trust me.
(Was I supposed to be his El Dorado?)
Her desk didn’t wobble. Her front doors didn’t squeak, or hang crooked. Her windows didn’t jam. No water leaked into the classroom, except for the few drops that came from her eyes. They blurred the page underneath her fingertips.
Of the Moon,
Down the Valley of the Shadow,
Ride, boldly ride,"
The shade replied --
"If you seek for El Dorado."
“Onions! Hot, sweet onions!”
She gasped, and lifted her face toward the closed front doors of the schoolhouse, where his familiar, silky voice could be heard calling out from the street beyond. Before she even realized it, she was up and running.
He stood there with Mary Lou, a rain slicker over his broad shoulders and that brown leather hat atop his head, catching the rain against the brim as it came down. She wore nothing but the sky blue blouse and burgundy skirts she had put on this morning, and though the rain wasn’t particularly hard, it wouldn’t take long before she was soaked through.
She didn’t care.
She kept running, wanting to throw her arms around him and tell him how much she had missed him. But she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Instead, she hugged Mary Lou’s neck.
“Is something wrong?” he asked her with worry, placing a gentle hand against her back, between her shoulder blades.
If he only knew.
“Oh, Sam,” she said. “My heart is breaking!”
“I can fix that.”
She turned to him, breath catching and sticking in her throat. His deep, ebony eyes were focused on her, warm and caring, and as he took hold of both of her hands, he leaned in, and kissed her.
It was a gentle kiss, sweet and innocent, and it made her heart skip a beat. She thought of a great number of things: of the taste and the feel and the surprise wound tight in her chest; of the propriety of the action; and of what the town would think.
But she didn’t think of Doc.
She fell into his arms, and she kissed him back.
This is home.
This is where I’m supposed to be.
Because of the rain, there was nobody else out on the street. Even if there was, Katherine and Sam wouldn’t have noticed. They were lost in their own world.
At that moment, however, Hattie Parker stepped out of the general store. They didn’t see her, but she saw them. She pointed her quivering finger in their direction, and whispered in her brittle voice:
“God will punish you!”
.