OOM: T-minus, mark one

[ikissdhimbck]

[Sometime after this:]


Kate isn't sure she trusts the cavalier attitude toward illness in Milliways. Sure, they've made some remarkable leaps in medicine throughout the universe, but remarks like 'it's just the flu' and 'common cold' still make her gawp. This doesn't feel like just anything, and she's seen folk die from less.

She takes her medicine like a good patient, and agrees to bed rest to avoid staying in the infirmary. She mostly stays in bed — when nobody else is watching, even. However, that's to do mainly with how awful she's feeling, rather than any sudden change in disposition.

She's bored.

She's dying.

Doesn't anybody care?


She sets aside the last of the six books she borrowed from the library to keep herself occupied, and sighs. It quickly turns into a coughing jag. What's she going to do now?





--kismetBehest has logged on--

Comments

[gavin62truck]

It's going to be a little while before Kate gets a response. Perhaps five...ten...fifteen minutes? Longer?

But eventually, this happens on her screen.

combustibleCombatant [CC] began trolling kismetBehest [KB]

CC: HEY
CC: WHAT'S UP

[ikissdhimbck]

KB: Who is this?
KB: WhT'S GOING ON?

[gavin62truck]

CC: IT'S ME, TOMMY
CC: REMEMBER I SHOWED YOU HOW TO CHECK THE DIRECTORY
CC: I WAS WONDERING WHEN YOU WERE GONNA LOG ON

[ikissdhimbck]

KB: TOMMY?



There's a long pause preceding every new message, as if she's plucking out each word one slow letter at a time.


KB: WHY ARE YOU CALLING YOURSELF CC?
KB: HOW DID MY LETTERS END UP SO BIG?
KB: CC IS A GIRL'S Nme, isn't it?

[gavin62truck]

CC: CHRIST, I KNEW WE SHOULD'VE DONE A TEST RUN BEFORE I LEFT
CC: OK
CC: THIS THING CHOSE MY NAME FOR ME
CC: IT'S NOT CC
CC: IT'S COMBUSTIBLECOMBATANT FOR SOME REASON
CC: YOURS IS KISMETBEHEST
CC: THUS, KB
CC: ALSO, YOUR LETTERS LOOK FINE TO ME
CC: IT'S PROBABLY JUST THE SETTINGS
CC: PERSONALLY I LIKE MY LETTERS BIG CAUSE THE SCREEN IS JUST SO DAMN SMALL I CAN'T SEE SHIT

[ikissdhimbck]

KB: You can't see what?
KB: Oh, my letters are all right now.
KB: These keys are fiddly.
KB: I don't understND.
KB: TOMMY, WHERE ARE YOU?

[gavin62truck]

CC: I'M AT WORK
CC: JUST GOT BACK FROM A CALL AND THEN HAD TO FIND A PRIVATE SPOT TO TEXT YOU
CC: HOW ARE YOU? STILL SICK?

[ikissdhimbck]

KB: OH MY GOD.
KB: ARE YOU IN THE PRIVY?

[gavin62truck]

CC: UH
CC: YEAH
CC: WHAT? COME ON, IT'S THE ONLY PLACE WHERE NOBODY'S GONNA BOTHER ME
CC: I HAVE REALLY NOSEY COWORKERS
CC: HOW ARE YOU FEELING??

[ikissdhimbck]

KB: YOU ARE HORRIBLE.
KB: AND YOU SHOULD TURN SOME LIGHTS ON.
KB: JESUS, TOMMY.



KB: I FEEL DREADFUL.
KB: I RAN OUT OF BOOKS.
KB: :(

[gavin62truck]

CC: I'M NOT HORRIBLE, I'M BEING
CC: WHAT'S THAT WORD YOU USED
CC: DISCREET
CC: AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THE LIGHTS ARE ALREADY ON
CC: OH
CC: CAN'T SEE SHIT
CC: I GET IT
CC: ANYWAY, NEVER MIND
CC: I GUESS I CAN BRING YOU MORE BOOKS

[ikissdhimbck]

KB: NOT SO LONG AS YOU'RE SITTING ON THE POT.
KB: I THINK YOU MISUNDERSTOOD WHAT I MEANT BY DISCREET.
KB: NOW I'M EMBARRASSED.
KB: WHEN ARE YOU COMINMG Bck to Milliways?

[gavin62truck]

CC: JEEZ, I'M NOT ACTUALLY TAKING A DUMP, OK?
CC: I'VE JUST LOCKED MYSELF IN ONE OF THE STALLS SO THAT PEOPLE WILL THINK I'M
CC: YOU KNOW, OCCUPIED
CC: ANYWAYYYYY
CC: I CAN STOP BY AFTER MY SHIFT THIS EVENING
CC: OR IF IT'S TURNING OUT TO BE A SLOW DAY I MIGHT BE ABLE TO GET AWAY SOME TIME BEFORE THAT
CC: HOW DESPERATE ARE YOU FOR READING MATERIAL?

[ikissdhimbck]

KB: Why does it keep doin that?
KB: Changing sizes, that is.
KB: I'm feeling awful blue, Tommy.
KB: Are you sure I'm not dying?
KB: There isn't NYTHING TO DO BUT READ.
KB: OK
KB: WHAT DOES THE BLUE LIGHT ON THE KEY MEAN?
KB: WHAT IS CAPS LOCK?

[gavin62truck]

CC: YOU KEEP HITTING THE CAPS LOCK KEY
CC: IT MAKES EVERYTHING CAPITAL LETTERS
CC: I KEEP MINE ON ALL THE TIME AS YOU MIGHT HAVE NOTICED
CC: AND YOU'RE NOT DYING, HONEY
CC: IF YOU WERE REALLY DYING YOU WOULDN'T COMPLAIN ABOUT RUNNING OUT OF BOOKS
CC: SHOULD I BRING YOU A DVD PLAYER OR SOMETHING?

[ikissdhimbck]

KB: OH.






KB: Yes, I noticed you do.
KB: It's not very good penmanship, Tommy.
KB: I can't breathe through my nose.
KB: That clearly isn't a good sign.
KB: Will you be sad when I'm dead?

[gavin62truck]

CC: JEEZ HONEY
CC: YES, I WOULD BE VERY VERY SAD
CC: BUT YOU ARE NOT DYING
CC: SO I'M NOT SAD YET
CC: AND YOU'VE SEEN MY ACTUAL PENMANSHIP
CC: SOME WOULD CONSIDER THIS IS AN IMPROVEMENT

[ikissdhimbck]

KB: You are not a doctor.
KB: Your name is not Dr. Gavin.
KB: Maybe I took a turn for the worse, you wouldn't know.
KB: You've never written me a decent letter, either.
KB: What do all these different buttons do, Tommy?

KB: ☺ ♥ ♦ ♣ ♂ ♀ ♪ ☻ ♠ ☼

[gavin62truck]

CC: OK SO I'M NO MEDICAL EXPERT
CC: BUT AGAIN, IF YOU WERE REALLY DYING, YOU WOULDN'T BE FIDDLING AROUND WITH THE ICON BUTTONS
CC: DO I HAVE TO WRITE YOU A LETTER NOW?

[ikissdhimbck]

KB: Have to?
KB: No.
KB: You certainly don't have to communicate or share your affection in any way familiar to me.
KB: I'm fiddling with the buttons becUSE I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO DO.
KB: I'M BORED.
KB: WHOOPSIE DAISY.


KB: As I was saying...
KB: If it makes you feel better, I can stop trying to understand this thing and just lay down and accept my fate.

[gavin62truck]

CC: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST TYPED OUT WHOOPSIE DAISY
CC: LISTEN
CC: I'LL COME BY AS SOON AS I CAN, OK?
CC: MOST LIKELY SOME TIME BEFORE YOU DIE, I PROMISE YOU THAT
CC: I'LL GO TO THE LIBRARY AND GET YOU SOME BOOKS
CC: HOW'S THAT FOR AFFECTION?
CC: WHAT KIND OF BOOKS DO YOU WANT, JUST SO I DON'T BRING YOU STUFF YOU ALREADY READ OR WHATEVER

[ikissdhimbck]

 

[gavin62truck]

CC: KATE?



CC: HONEY
CC: I KNOW YOU'RE NOT DEAD YET

[ikissdhimbck]

 

[gavin62truck]

CC: OK HONEY, COME ON, STOP PRETENDING TO BE DEAD
CC: PEOPLE ARE GONNA GET SUSPICIOUS IF I STAY IN THE CRAPPER TOO LONG

[ikissdhimbck]

KB: Lo siento, yo estaba tratando más botones.



KB: ¿Qué?
KB: ¿Qué está pasando?
KB: ¿Tomás?

[gavin62truck]

CC: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE, NOW WHAT

[ikissdhimbck]

KB: No lo sé!
KB: ¿Tomás?
KB: un momento!



KB: Ist das besser?
KB: Was ist passiert?!
KB: Ich weiß nicht, was zu drücken!

[gavin62truck]

CC: NOPE, THAT DIDN'T HELP

[ikissdhimbck]

KB: Dieses Ding ist GEBROCHEN
KB: WAS HAST DU GETAN?
KB: TOMMI


KB: CETTE AIDE?

KB: 이 도움이 되나요?

KB: Αυτή η βοήθεια;

KB: Ayuda!
KB: Cabhair!
KB: Na pomoč!
KB: 助けて！
KB: Help!

[gavin62truck]

Meanwhile, Tommy is hunched over, tapping the edge of the device against his forehead until she works everything out.

CC: THERE
CC: LOOK
CC: ENGLISH
CC: DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING ELSE

[ikissdhimbck]

KB: OK




KB: You know, this wouldn't have happened if you were here.

[gavin62truck]

CC: HONEY
CC: YOU KNOW I'M AT WORK
CC: SOMETIMES IT'S NOT THAT EASY TO SNEAK THROUGH THE DOOR, ESPECIALLY RIGHT AFTER WE GET BACK FROM A JOB
CC: THERE'S TOO MANY PEOPLE AROUND
CC: WHEN THINGS CALM DOWN A BIT, I'LL TRY TO COME SEE YOU
CC: WITH BOOKS
CC: AND CHICKEN SOUP AND TEA
CC: AND A DVD PLAYER AND SOME MOVIES
CC: OK?

[ikissdhimbck]

Sigh.


KB: OK.

[gavin62truck]

He can almost hear that sigh.


CC: ALRIGHT
CC: NOW TELL ME WHAT KIND OF BOOKS YOU WANT OR ELSE I'M GOING TO DUMP ALL THE BOOKS ABOUT BASEBALL ON YOU

[ikissdhimbck]

KB: That will be fine.
KB: Whatever you think I might enjoy.

[gavin62truck]

CC: I WAS KIND OF JOKING
CC: AND I CAN'T TELL IF YOU SAID THAT WITH A GRUMPY/SARCASTIC VOICE

[ikissdhimbck]

KB: Wouldn't you be grumpy if you were in my boots?

[gavin62truck]

CC: OK, YEAH, GOOD POINT
CC: IT SUCKS BEING SICK BUT YOU'LL GET BETTER SOON, HONEY
CC: HOW ABOUT YOU TAKE A DECONGESTANT AND TRY TO GET SOME SLEEP UNTIL I SEE YOU?

[ikissdhimbck]

KB: OK.
KB: I just wanted to talk to somebody.
KB: I'm better writing letters.
KB: At least they don't change languages on me.

[gavin62truck]

CC: WELL, THAT'S WHAT THIS THING IS FOR
CC: A TEMPORARY SOLUTION FOR NOT HAVING ANYBODY IN THE ROOM TO TALK TO
CC: MIGHT CHANGE LANGUAGES, BUT HEY, IT KEEPS YOU ON YOUR TOES
CC: OR...FINGERS
CC: ANYWAYS, I GOTTA GO SOON, THE GUYS ARE ASKING IF I FELL IN

[ikissdhimbck]

KB: For god's sake, Tommy!
KB: Have a good day.
KB: Sincerely, Kate

[gavin62truck]

CC: JEEZ
CC: YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO FORMAL
CC: YOU'RE NOT SIGNING A LETTER
CC: YOU'RE ALLOWED TO SAY "SEE YOU LATER" OR WHATEVER, LIKE YOU WERE FACE TO FACE WITH ME
CC: ALSO I WOULD KISS YOU GOODBYE, EXCEPT
CC: 1) TIME AND SPACE SEPARATING US, AND
CC: 2) EVEN IF 1 WASN'T AN ISSUE, YOU'RE TEEMING WITH GERMS
CC: STILL, I'D LIKE TO KISS YOU
CC: BUT YEAH, I'LL SEE YOU LATER

[ikissdhimbck]

"Oh."

Kate isn't sure how to turn this thing off, so she has to watch the screen and wait until she sees

combustibleCombatant ceased trolling kismetBehest

before she assumes the conversation is over.

She sighs, setting the device aside before her latest coughing jag has a chance to dirty it up, and runs the last few lines of his dialog over in her head, wondering if he was being as mean as he sounded.

"Sure, s'a 'temporary solution' if the other person will actually talk."

No point to it if he's busy.


She debates playing around with it some more, trying to figure out what all the keys are and how they work, and decides she's not feeling up for it. She's not feeling up for much at all. God, she hates being in this room.

She engages in a staring contest with the cats for twenty-three minutes.

(They win.)

And then she thinks screw it, and gets dressed. Outside is on her Do Not Fly list, much to her chagrin. The main bar is as well, due to something called a 'contagion'. So she heads to the library.

Again.

You can never have enough books, right?

(At least there are rules of grammar and actual conversation in them.)


She'll figure out T-minus another day.