ikissdhimbck | OOM: Room #100 - Visit from Bill, following fight with Ramon

When Doc speaks, her shoulders go tight, her head dropping lower. It wounds her enough, knowing that she can't do anything for Kate and Bill, feeling pinned in a corner the way she is with no other way out. But it's an insult when Doc talks about how he will protect them -- protect them all -- when Kate has shown herself to be so deficient in that very area.

She doesn't move an inch, not to look at him, not to speak, not to do a single thing, but her knuckles do turn white as all of her frustration funnels into her tightly clenched fists.

It's certainly far removed from the way things had been last week, when she sought out Bill and Kate Warner to talk. The couple then had done nothing but support each other, with comforting hands and concerned looks.

Kate isn't even anywhere near Doc, nor has he made any attempts to come near her. It's a different dynamic entirely. It's tense.

Bill's words suddenly strike her subconscious, and she whirls, surprised. For a moment she thinks about bringing up her warning, how she knew it was going to turn out all wrong and she was only trying to protect them. But when she sees the look on Bill's face, she shuts her mouth again.

"I know why you made your choices," she eventually says, her tone low and controlled. "I'm sorry I didn't come through on my end of the deal. I mean t'fix it, now."

There is a deep note of remorse in her voice. Whatever Bill thinks, Kate knows this is all her fault. Thinking back to their last encounter makes her sick to her stomach with guilt.

Doc notices her tense up, and he narrows his eyes slightly at the way her fingers are curled into fists.

"And you will, Kate."

He knows that much.

He leans forward in the chair.

"I know my presence won't do much, if things get real ugly, but hopefully they won't."

"What deal?"

The words are out of his mouth before he can stop them, and he regrets saying them immediately.

All their recent conversations have ended in arguments or on bad notes. He doesn't know where he stands with her, and while he knows she probably means her desire to keep them safe, the question comes from the fact that they haven't been able to keep civil with each other to make any kind of deals.

It doesn't help anything to call attention to the tensions between then, though. He shouldn't have said anything, and there's an apology in his eyes when he looks at her before he turns his gaze to Doc.

"They can't get ugly if none of us are here for them to."

She turns away from him, fixing her gaze on her door.

"I told 'im I'd never let him hurt you," she murmurs, just barely audibly.

Then, with a bit more strength in her voice: "I promised I'd do whatever it took, t'keep you safe. But I know now how stupid I was.

"I've been shit at keepin' y'all safe. I been too wrapped up in myself, an' what I wanted, and what I thought was right. If I really wanted t'protect you, I would'a left a long time 'go. But I didn't--"

--want to go. It was Green Lake all over again. It was my daddy's farm that I was being evicted from, while the Crockers grew fat and rich off our land. It was Trout Walker, not Ramon, and I was too hot to see that I was giving him exactly what he wanted.

"Everythin'."

Every reason in the world to fight her, and take away all the things she loves, and make it look like justice.

She swallows, snapping herself back to the present, and shakes her head. She's hugging herself now, as she paces towards the door.

"I know I was wrong, an' I'm sorry. But you won't have t'worry 'bout it no more. You'll be 'right. An' I'll live on."

Without this place. Without what's left of my home.

It's my responsibility.

(It's the only way.)

While she's speaking, Doc's gotten up from the chair - his glass of water now empty, and he leaves it abandoned on the table - and he's walking towards her.

(Listening to her.)

"Y'ain't gonna be doin' this alone, neither," Doc adds. "But this mess ain't just your fault, no matter what you told that son of a bitch."

He's barely paying attention to Bill, but he knows the other man is there.

"I don't need you protectin' me."

The words aren't harsh, but there's a lot of firmness behind them.

He knows she only wants to help; he knows that she, and his Kate, are just worried about him and trying to look after him, but each time he hears one of them say how they've failed in protecting him makes him feel his own failure a hundred fold more.

They aren't supposed to be safeguarding him. It's his job, his responsibility to look out for them and himself, and each time something happens it's on him, because he isn't doing what he's supposed to. He's not fulfilling the role that's his to take on.

"Kate, I'm not blamin' you, Ramon's the crazy asshole who's taken this thing as far as it's gone. I ain't askin' you t'leave, neither. Not for forever."

He takes a breath, trying to calm himself and piece his thought together into words.

"This place it -- crazy as it is, it means a lot t'me, an' I think it does for you, too. I don't want you losin' whatever y'have here. It's not fair."

You've lost so much already.

"No," she says, turning over her shoulder to look at him. She jumps slightly when she sees Doc so much nearer to her, but he's not her focus right now.

Bill is.

"I'm not sayin' y'can't look out for yourself, Bill. I know that ain't true. But I know that y'wouldn't be in this mess if it weren't for me, like Kate said. I started trouble, and I got you dragged into it, and it's my responsibility t'make things right. Keepin' you, and Kate, and Boo, and Doc, and everybody else from harm is just part of that."

She purses her lips together, regarding her boots.

"Long as I'm here it ain't safe for nobody who loves me. Lady Demeter and her kin can't bail me out forever. Sooner or later, someone's gonna git hurt. So, y'see, it's better that I go. I've made my choice."

Doc really does not want an argument to break out between the two of them, so he tells it like it is:

"There ain't nothin' sayin' that Ramon will be here forever, anyhow," he points out. "And when the threat is gone, and the opportunity arises t'head back here, then we'll deal with that when we get to it."

He glances at Bill.

"He would have killed you, if not for Demeter steppin' in after you got clocked upside the head with the gun he pulled. If he didn't beat y'to death he'd probably'a shot you, and then your Kate t'make things 'settled'. He almost," he turns back to Katherine, and looks at her. "Put a bullet in your skull, out in the stables. It's too much of a risk for Boo t'be in harm's way because of who we are, so right now, this is the best option."

A beat.

"It ain't the only one, but it's what we're gonna do. What Kate's decided t'do, anyway, and I think that she's right for choosin' t'get out of here while she can in hopes that it gets Ramon to cool it. He might not, there's no tellin', but it's really the best card on the table right now outta the draw."

There's a lot in both of their words. It's what Doc says that Bill responds to, but his focus is on Kate.

"What's he talkin' about?"

That's the other reason Bill's here, to find out what happened that night. It's something that's been bothering him, something he needs to know and he can't ask his Kate.

She turns and looks at Doc, eyes wide with disbelief. She simply cannot believe him right now. Vaguely, in the back of her mind, she thinks he's trying to help, but every word comes out like a whip lash. Undermining her decision to leave (when did I tell you comin' back was ever on the table?), reiterating the fact that Demeter had to bail them out (because you couldn't make good on your word, and just keep your goddamn eyes open), and then making her sound like a goddamn coward for leaving the bar (you're running away because you're in over your head, you don't know what to do).

When he turns to look at her, she can hardly keep herself from glowering at him.

"He don't know what he's talkin' 'bout," she grits in reply to Bill, though her eyes are riveted on Doc. It takes real effort to look away. She walks off until he's out of her sight.

"You don't remember?" she murmurs, eyes on Bill when she's had a chance to bring her conflicting emotions back under control.

Doc would mention that it's his door they're going out of, but he wisely keeps his mouth shut, sensing her anger and the tension that's building beneath the surface.

All he was saying was that he thought she was doing the right thing and trying to prevent an argument.

When she walks away, he takes the short path back to the table and lowers himself in the chair once more, kicking it back on the two legs once again, watching the two of them.

Not saying a word.

"I don't know," He tells her, clearly not something he's pleased to admit. His eyes follow her as she moves about the room, glancing briefly at Doc.

"What the hell happened?"

"He hit you pretty good," she mutters, eying his hairline even though she knows she won't see anything.

"You was already pretty into it by the time I planned on steppin' in. Ramon pulled his gun when you was turned about, dirty trick. Knocked you on the head. Y'hit the deck. But even after you was out, he wouldn't quit."

She shakes her head sadly, shame and remorse littering her features.

"Kickin' a man when he's down'n out cold s'nearly as bad as shootin' a man in the back," Doc comments. "It just ain't done."

Even outlaws have honor codes. Ramon is nothing but a bucket of piss and mule dung, as far as Doc is concerned.

He wants a cigarette, but he won't smoke in Kate's room, so he refrains.

He pulled the gun.

"Sonuvabitch."

All that shit about Bill not being man enough, and Ramon pulls a gun in a fist fight.

"That dirty bastard. I swear t'God I'm gonna -- "

He shakes his head, anger striking hot in his chest.

Ramon didn't win that fight, he cheated. Bill had a chance and even when he was down Ramon kept going. It explains why his ribs hurt so damn much.

"Fuckin' coward."

"--You're gonna gather up your woman, an' Boo, and go be with Lady Demeter," Kate finishes for him, her voice simultaneously gentle and firm. "It's the only thing y'can do, right now. And I--"

She hesitates. Her eyes dart in Doc's direction, and with a quiet but obvious struggle, she corrects herself.

"--We will take care'a the rest, here. Ain't no sense in pokin' the hornet's nest when it's already hot."

"Which means that as soon as ya'll are safely outta the bar and outta Ramon's range, we're headin' for Colorada."

Doc stands from the chair - he can't sit, and if Kate's going to head down to talk to that 'tree', they're stopping in his room first.

"And once things are settled, here, we'll figure things out. But y'should plan on stayin' for a bit of a spell. Least until Demeter has it on good 'thority that it's safe t'return."

He wants to argue with them, but he knows they're right. He needs to get Kate and Boo somewhere safe, and going back after Ramon would be crazy. He'd never get a fair fight anyhow, and next time when Ramon pulls a stunt, help might not arrive in time.

"I'll take 'em, an' we'll go." Clearly he isn't happy with the situation, but it's the only option that guarantees they'll be safe.

"Keep in touch, both a you, an' if y'need anything lemme know."

He pauses a moment, then moves his eyes between the two of them.

"If we're all leavin' might be good t'have goodbyes now. Probably be best t'not let Boo know you're goin', but if y'wanted to see her, or Kate... "

He doesn't finish the words, but the offer is there in his expression.

Katherine still hasn't visited Boo, and even though Bill still has some uneasiness he can't get rid of, he knows Kate would probably like to see Doc before he goes.

Kate isn't happy with the situation either, but she hasn't exactly been trying too hard to hide that fact throughout the conversation. She hates leaving, and she hates the thought of them leaving, but she knows it's time to lock up her pride and do what's best for everyone.

She nods stonily, dropping her attention back to her boots when he asks them to keep in touch. Despite Doc's claims, she isn't as optimistic about ever reviving her ties to Milliways. It's not fair lying to Bill, or giving him false hope, but she's not going to openly argue with Doc in front of him. This will save them all time and discomfort.

"I'll be fine. We'll be... fine," Kate mutters, hugging her arms around herself. "I don't think there's any need for goodbyes, Sheriff."

She can't see Boo, and he's right, anyway. It would be best if she didn't let her know she was going. As for Kate... well. She's sure the woman could care less about a goodbye from her. But Doc, on the other hand...

"Might be best if y'just kept this to yourself, anyhow. Less people who know, the better. Just you concentrate on makin' her happy, gettin' safe, and once y'are then y'can worry 'bout the specifics of our partin'," she suggests.

"I'll have t'take care of a few things. Speak to a few people," Doc admits. "But I won't go spreadin' it around, none."

There are things he needs to take care of, first. Just in case he never makes it back.

He glances up at Bill, and nods.

"We will do that," he replies. "I'll be sure t'see you 'fore we head out, make sure that you and Kate are gettin' out of here without incident, just in case."

Bill has been slow to admit and accept that his friendship with Kate is never going to be what it was. The past few weeks the truth has been staring him in the face, but he's refused to see it; wanting to believe that eventually things would sort out, he'd be able to help her, and things would go back the way they were.

Her response to his offer, they way she hasn't looked him in the eye more than a few times during this whole conversation, and the finality of her decision to leave, puts an end to the hope he'd been holding onto. So many things have changed for him over this past year or so, and this is one of them that isn't going to get fixed.

She's still his friend, though, even if things are different. He hopes she knows that; he wishes he could tell her, but he's got no words to the effect, and no argument to try and convince her to change her mind.

Goodbyes are hard, and if she doesn't want any, he won't make things harder by trying to insist.

So, he gives Doc a nod, then stands up; sucking in a quick breath of air when his body protests the movement.

"Alright, not sure when we're headin' out, but if we don't see you I'll be sure an' leave a note t'let you know we're gone an' okay."

"The sooner, the better," she murmurs, trying to keep the strength in her voice.

(She knows.)

((And she will miss him.))

"Thank you, Bill. For stoppin' by t'let us know."

Doc rubs the back of his neck.

"You take care of yourself, y'here."

"Sure."

Bill nods, standing beside his chair for a long uncomfortable moment, apart from them and knowing that even if they aren't saying it, this could be goodbye.

"Y'all -- good luck."

He gives another quick nod before he turns around and heads for the door. The hallway gets a swift scan before he steps out, closing the door behind him.

Kate watches him as he leaves, a million words on her tongue, but none on her breath. She doesn't feel... right. About any of this.

She wants to yell after him to be safe, to watch his back and keep his eyes open. She wants to tell him just how sorry she is for everything she's done, and how much she wants to take it all back. But all she does, is watch him leave.

After a moment, with the weight of the silence in the room suffocating her, she pivots on her heels and looks at Doc. There's a lot of sadness there, but her frustration is still burning bright.

"'We'll deal with that when we get to it'?"

She scoffs, shaking her head as she moves toward the bathroom.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject