Katherine "Kissin' Kate" Barlow (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ikissdhimbck) wrote2010-09-10 01:55 pm
ikissdhimbck) wrote2010-09-10 01:55 pm
Entry tags:
OOM: France, 2005
[Second OOM]
Breezes invade through the french doors on the far side of the room, attacking the sheer white curtains until they swell. It's an empty room, containing little but an ancient wrought iron bed dressed in white linens, and a pine vanity by the closet door.
Kate watches from the bed as the curtains move. The sun plays tricks on her eyes, casting shadows on the hardwood that slither and jump; here one minute, and gone the next.
Her fingers curl against the feather mattress, pulling warmed sheets into her grasp. She holds them just so, not feeling the soft cotton tickle against her palm but the gentle, smooth caress of sun-warmed skin. She closes her eyes, and breathes in fresh tilled dirt and onion blossoms.
"S'not fair, y'know. To you."
She knows he looks just the same as he did the day before he died. Every last thread in his weary-worn clothes. Every blemish. Every fleck of ebony in his chocolate eyes.
"I'm here 'cuz I want to be."
"I did you wrong."
Her words taste like ash, coating her tongue with bitter pitch.
Sam smiles. It's like a shaft of sunlight in a dark room, turning everything warm and golden. Just like the thousand smiles that lit up an entire school year in Green Lake, Texas.
"I was never quite so happy as I was when I met you, Miss Katherine."
She frowns, burying herself deeper in makeshift sackcloth.
"I was foolin' myself, Sam. I was the one cursed that day, but it's the people I love who pay the price."
"Can't change what's been done." His thumb brushes across her knuckles, same as it had the night he kissed her. "It ain't all that bad."
"Oh, Sam."
"No pain. No hunger. I see you whenever I want."
Her chest goes tight.
"I did curse you, that night. I was runnin' away--" mud slick beneath my shoes, clothes sticking to my skin like my heart was sticking to my ribs, running from a man who broke my heart, running from who I was "--pretendin' I could run t'you."
"Why?"
Why?
"I didn't think he loved me."
"But somethin' changed your mind?"
(The sun is declining into late morning, and the shadows stretch and moan.)
"He waited ten years."
"Now, forgive me, Miss Kate, but how d'you know that?" Sam asks softly, pulling his hand through her hair.
Her stomach clenches, air caught in her lungs.
"Because I trusted him."
(His fingers catch on a knot, and they both wince.)
"Because I love him."
"Your heart's always been just as sweet as your spiced peaches, Miss Katherine. S'why the town took you in, way it did. But things ain't always back and white; sometimes the two meet halfway."
His soulful eyes smile at her, sad and haunting.
"It's a lot meaner out there than y'realize. Not like the world Poe and Longfellow writes about. But just 'cuz things don't turn out the way you think they oughta, don't mean it's the end."
She doesn't remember moving, but suddenly he's all she sees.
"My heart's still breakin', Sam."
Another smile, sharp and brilliant and unexpected, like a crack of lightning in a cloudless sky.
"Naw. Your heart's stronger'n all that. It's time you learned to rely on yourself. Without me there t'look after you..."
"Sam," she scolds -- laughing -- reaching to touch his face. "You're always tryin' t'fix things."
"Now, I was worried about you, Miss Katherine. Why are y'always surroundin' yourself with the dead?"
She opens her mouth to argue, but the words turn cold on her tongue. (She knows he's not really here.) Even her closest friends -- all with few exceptions -- aren't alive in the strictest sense. (My Morning Star...) Maybe it's easier avoiding heartbreak when there's no beating heart there to break.
"For a long time I was worried your grief was gonna eat you up," he continues softly. "Tear you down, stone by stone. You been wanderin' blindly since that day. And it ain't no miracle you're still alive. True to your love or not, he kept you from goin' out and gettin' yourself killed when you still needed mindin'. Whether or not his motives were good, I can't not but be grateful t'him for that. He looked out for you when I couldn't."
"But Sam," she whispers, voice tight and small. "Now I'm alone."
"You know that ain't true."
"Got no one with me, next time I go. They're still chasin' and they ain't gonna stop."
He places a gentle hand on her forehead.
"Miss Katherine. You ain't never relied on no man. You practically built that schoolhouse from the ground with your own two hands. You got the tools t'rebuild your own life."
She swallows hard, closing her eyes to a slow-building sting. A tear creeps into her hair.
(She doesn't open her eyes, but she knows he's gone.)
You're ready now.
.
‘Where've you been? You don't come to me when I'm in Milliways.’
‘You don't need me when you're in Milliways.’
Breezes invade through the french doors on the far side of the room, attacking the sheer white curtains until they swell. It's an empty room, containing little but an ancient wrought iron bed dressed in white linens, and a pine vanity by the closet door.
Kate watches from the bed as the curtains move. The sun plays tricks on her eyes, casting shadows on the hardwood that slither and jump; here one minute, and gone the next.
Her fingers curl against the feather mattress, pulling warmed sheets into her grasp. She holds them just so, not feeling the soft cotton tickle against her palm but the gentle, smooth caress of sun-warmed skin. She closes her eyes, and breathes in fresh tilled dirt and onion blossoms.
"S'not fair, y'know. To you."
She knows he looks just the same as he did the day before he died. Every last thread in his weary-worn clothes. Every blemish. Every fleck of ebony in his chocolate eyes.
"I'm here 'cuz I want to be."
"I did you wrong."
Her words taste like ash, coating her tongue with bitter pitch.
Sam smiles. It's like a shaft of sunlight in a dark room, turning everything warm and golden. Just like the thousand smiles that lit up an entire school year in Green Lake, Texas.
"I was never quite so happy as I was when I met you, Miss Katherine."
She frowns, burying herself deeper in makeshift sackcloth.
"I was foolin' myself, Sam. I was the one cursed that day, but it's the people I love who pay the price."
"Can't change what's been done." His thumb brushes across her knuckles, same as it had the night he kissed her. "It ain't all that bad."
"Oh, Sam."
"No pain. No hunger. I see you whenever I want."
Her chest goes tight.
"I did curse you, that night. I was runnin' away--" mud slick beneath my shoes, clothes sticking to my skin like my heart was sticking to my ribs, running from a man who broke my heart, running from who I was "--pretendin' I could run t'you."
"Why?"
Why?
"I didn't think he loved me."
"But somethin' changed your mind?"
(The sun is declining into late morning, and the shadows stretch and moan.)
"He waited ten years."
(Yours, he said, Always -- a ring on his finger and your name on the deed, he never stopped trying, never stopped looking, spent a lifetime searching, faithful, no one else but you, he built a home and you planned a life not lives but a life and you didn't want to wait no more, so much time wasted dancing around leaving your home behind but you weren't he was your home)
"Now, forgive me, Miss Kate, but how d'you know that?" Sam asks softly, pulling his hand through her hair.
Her stomach clenches, air caught in her lungs.
(You'd do anything to hold on and he says he's different, not the same, a different man, things ain't right you ain't right and that ain't true, you danced under the stars fireworks overhead you came to meet my father you're not the same [he's not the same?] no, the ring wasn't on his finger, never on his finger, it was on the basin, you put it on him when you buried him he didn't wait, always leaving, never said a word and you slept in the stables [it wasn't for Corella])
"Because I trusted him."
(finally together yours and all you had were words, not actions, promises you hoarded in your heart and now they're it's broken)
(His fingers catch on a knot, and they both wince.)
"Because I love him."
"Your heart's always been just as sweet as your spiced peaches, Miss Katherine. S'why the town took you in, way it did. But things ain't always back and white; sometimes the two meet halfway."
His soulful eyes smile at her, sad and haunting.
"It's a lot meaner out there than y'realize. Not like the world Poe and Longfellow writes about. But just 'cuz things don't turn out the way you think they oughta, don't mean it's the end."
She doesn't remember moving, but suddenly he's all she sees.
"My heart's still breakin', Sam."
Another smile, sharp and brilliant and unexpected, like a crack of lightning in a cloudless sky.
"Naw. Your heart's stronger'n all that. It's time you learned to rely on yourself. Without me there t'look after you..."
"Sam," she scolds -- laughing -- reaching to touch his face. "You're always tryin' t'fix things."
"Now, I was worried about you, Miss Katherine. Why are y'always surroundin' yourself with the dead?"
She opens her mouth to argue, but the words turn cold on her tongue. (She knows he's not really here.) Even her closest friends -- all with few exceptions -- aren't alive in the strictest sense. (My Morning Star...) Maybe it's easier avoiding heartbreak when there's no beating heart there to break.
"For a long time I was worried your grief was gonna eat you up," he continues softly. "Tear you down, stone by stone. You been wanderin' blindly since that day. And it ain't no miracle you're still alive. True to your love or not, he kept you from goin' out and gettin' yourself killed when you still needed mindin'. Whether or not his motives were good, I can't not but be grateful t'him for that. He looked out for you when I couldn't."
"But Sam," she whispers, voice tight and small. "Now I'm alone."
"You know that ain't true."
"Got no one with me, next time I go. They're still chasin' and they ain't gonna stop."
He places a gentle hand on her forehead.
"Miss Katherine. You ain't never relied on no man. You practically built that schoolhouse from the ground with your own two hands. You got the tools t'rebuild your own life."
She swallows hard, closing her eyes to a slow-building sting. A tear creeps into her hair.
(She doesn't open her eyes, but she knows he's gone.)
You're ready now.
.