She's thinking about Doc, that morning in the stables. She thinks about Bill and Kate and Boo having to say goodbye; about what Guppy had discovered during her check-up last week; about that unmarked grave up in the Colorado mountains, in a world that had been like a bier for them both (even if Kate had gotten back up).

"None'a this would'a ever happened if I just ... If I hadn't been so lost and lonely..."

So hurt and scared.

"I told 'im. I told him this would happen, but he just wouldn't listen. I know he wouldn't take a darned thing back, but it just don't change the fact that he was so stupid. And stubborn. I could'a saved him. If only we weren't together that mornin', I could've... I could've..."

Traded places.

All those lost lives in exchange for her own.